Prohibit by Bailey Sarah

Author:Bailey, Sarah
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Twisted Tree Publications
Published: 2019-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Fiona

Laid out on Jensen’s huge sofa with one of his t-shirts and my underwear on, his front to my back and his arms curled around me, all of my panic and worry from before had completely subsided. We hadn’t spoken a word since we got out of the shower. My hair was still damp, but I’d put it up in a messy bun. I should’ve really brought my hairdryer with me.

His hand drifted under my t-shirt, fingers stroking down my stomach. The simple touch had a soothing effect rather than being sexual. I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about what we’d just done. It’d be a lie to say I didn’t enjoy it, but a part of me felt a little unnerved by the way he’d taken exactly what he wanted regardless of whether I was on board with it or not. He demanded I give that part of me to him. No wouldn’t have been an acceptable answer. I wasn’t sure no was in my vocabulary when it came to Jensen anyway.

Even so, it’s not like I couldn’t have stopped him if I really wanted to. I’d have pressed it home to him and I know deep down, he would’ve listened. He wasn’t going to take me against my will. Not when he knew about my past. Besides, he wasn’t that type of person. I’d submitted to his dominance over me willingly. I’d given myself to him through choice. There was never coercion involved. At least, he never made me feel unsafe or that he wouldn’t take my concerns and boundaries seriously. When I told him my father had been the only person to have me without protection, he’d told me it was okay and I didn’t have to do that with him if I wasn’t ready. With Jensen, I felt freedom. So not using condoms didn’t seem like a big deal to me when it came to him. It just felt right. Everything with him felt right.

I should be with my family right now but I wasn’t. I’d run to the one person who in reality was the cause of all of my distress even if he soothed it away too. At first, I’d believed this might just be an infatuation, but now, I knew better. The moment I saw him sitting in amongst his papers, I’d known how far I’d fallen. Willingly fallen.

I’d never kept a secret from Jen before. And yet I’d done it for Jensen. Only for him. Because I would do anything to keep him. How had someone I’d known a month torn down all the walls of protection I’d built around myself after my father and Liam?

I knew how. I trusted Jensen with my secrets. My truths. My past.

Would he ever trust me with his?

“You didn’t say anything about us to anyone, did you?”

I stiffened. I’d almost told Ellie, but I held back because I knew it wouldn’t be wise.

“No, but you know my family knows I’m seeing someone.” I couldn’t keep the note of resentment out of my voice.

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